this is not for you, this is for me

this helps me to understand. but as everything else, i must find out by myself (just as i used to). how to keep on going, breathing, talking, sensing, building the road for myself… how to save my good senses and not to let it drawn me, not to give myself away (for nothing).

this life is beautiful, i can hear its sound everyday, smell it in the air, even touch it with my fingers. i love this life i received, love its incompleteness, its colors, its taste. it’s not a question anymore – i don’t know how long it takes but i won’t let it go.

there’s just one thing: my poor little silly heart, trying to ruin everything, claiming for more even when i already have everything… and my tired mind, listening to all the claims, fearing from the pain, is ready to follow the orders of my heart.

so, let’s see it again: it’s not about love, it’s about being selfish. it’s not about happiness, it’s about avoiding pain. it’s not about being smart and nice, it’s just me, the way i am, no mysteries, no unseen scenes, no untold words – you got everything of me, don’t expect for more, i have nothing to give (well, i have my flesh and blood, take it, if you want, that’s really all)

it’s not about you, it’s about me

I’m still the center of my universe and i choose ver carefully who to let inside. no one is allowed to move a single brick on the way. and, if i cry, no one is allowed to dry my tears. you wanted to come in, now pay the price.


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2015. július
h K s c p s v

“Nem énekelek, inkább sírok!”

...hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason...

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